a few days later

dear harold,
This doesn't make any sense. You told me you were falling for me. You told me you getting really attached to me. You practically told me you were in love with me just two weeks ago. What the hell changed? Is it that girl? Thats the only explanation i can come up with. I don't understand. And you don't even acknowledge me at the student center. What is this? What's wrong with me? And why all of a sudden? So i guess it's not Evan's fault that Sarah and I cant go to parties. It's yours. You don't want me there. Is that girl brainwashing you? Are you just really stressed out about school? Because I can understand that. If only you would just tell me. Just tell me what's wrong. We can work this out. I freakin drove for a freakin hour on the highway to visit you at your grandma's house. How can you do this to me?  I feel betrayed. You are really hurting me. I really like you. Hell, I probably love you if i knew what that word meant. We are going to talk about this tomorrow. Most of me just wants you to hold me and then kiss me. But a very small part knows that is not working and we need to talk. I'm scared. I don't want to loose you. I should have payed more attention to how many stripes I put on that scarf. It must have been a nine. And I thought I was so careful. I should have just stayed in the city for new year's eve when you asked me. That might have made things better. I want to meet your friends. I want to be introduced to them as your girl. You don't have to say girlfriend. That word makes me uncomfortable too. I would much rather you called me you girl. You made me very happy in Rome. I might have been the happiest time of my life. All thanks to you. So thank you. You will always be my first everything. You are a really lovely person. Depending on what happens tomorrow, this may be goodbye. I had a lot of fun with you. You made me feel alive. I just hope someday I will feel like that again with someone else. Harold, you are what made rome great.

-G